Ok so I've gotten quite a few emails on this topic and I will tell you it is a touchy one. I am not married nor have I ever been married so this will be strictly from a single woman's point of view and shouldn't be taken offense by anyone.
So you're dating a guy, he seems perfect. Treats you like a queen, takes you out on dates, introduces you to his friends, the whole shebang. Then one day it's almost like you are in an episode of Being Mary Jane... You find out that he's married! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO?! Do you leave him? Do you hear him out? Do you want to know the extent of the marriage? WHAT DO YOU DO?
Me? I'd RUN. Fast as all hell. One of the relationships I have been in that I'm not too proud of is that I was head over heals in love with a married man. I tried to justify this love with the fact that he had been separated over 7 years and had been in multiple relationships before he was with me... so what was the big deal? We were living together, talked about having kids, we were "engaged", and I had even met his wife! WTF was I thinking?!
Before you go judging me let me put you up on game real quick. At the time he was in the military and when you are in the military and you are married you are given a certain amount of extra allowances to take care of your family needs ie. clothing, food, home etc. So because my ex wasn't serious about anyone before me he never divorced his wife because he would lose money. Instead he would just break her off a few dollars every month. They did this for SEVEN YEARS! And when I came around no matter how serious we got... he wasnt gonna divorce this woman unless we were all standing in front of the court house together like "Hey i wanna occupy the wife slot she's currently occupying so he doesnt lose money."
So why do I feel like you should run from a man that's married even if he is separated? Because what I eventually learned is that MARRIAGE is MARRIAGE and at any moment even years later he could've left me and went back to his wife... because what was he holding on to? I feel like it had to be more than the money. But those vows he took before God with that woman meant clearly NOTHING to him. He might have at one point loved her... but eventually it was nothing more that convenience. So if I married him, I would eventually just be something that was convenient as well.
The point of the story is to know your self worth. Have enough respect for yourself not to step into quicksand. I know you hear it often but "there are plenty of fish out there" and its true... You don't have to eat someone else' fish.
Good luck doll,
- @InTheMixxer
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